July 14, 2020
Mixing family and business: the best – or worst – decision ever?
Work relationships – can be a hot button, especially if you’re thinking about mixing family and business. Can you successfully make it work? I’ve learned from experience – and from listening to other business owners’ stories – that working with family members can be a wonderful soul-sustaining experience or the absolute worst decision they’ve ever made.
What may seem like a good idea…
At first glance, bringing family into a business enterprise seems to make sense. You know them – and they know you – better than anyone else you could bring into the fold. It’s reasonable to expect that they have a personal investment in helping the business to succeed. And, assuming your family qualifies as your favorite people in the world, you get to see and talk to them every day.
On the other hand, you may be walking on thin ice…
When you’re working with family members, the line between life and work can get blurry.
The temptation to give family members more permissions and perks can create friction with non-family employees (and believe me, those employees will spot inequitable treatment right away).
A family member also may not be the most qualified person for the job, putting the growth of the business at risk.
And sadly, it’s a hard truth that money, especially when there’s a lot of it, can sometimes make people do terrible things, regardless of family ties.
From life partner to boss
My husband and I work together in our business. But there’s an added layer of complexity because as president, I’m his boss. As vice president, he is second in command.
It’s not your typical arrangement, but it’s a hierarchy we agreed on for a couple of reasons when we started the business five years ago. So far (fingers crossed!) we’ve kept our sanity, we still love each other, we enjoy coming to the office every day, and the company is doing well.
So why has working with family members worked for us? It was a risk, to be sure, and one that my husband and I talked a lot about before taking the leap. Prior to starting the business, I had just extricated myself from a business partnership that had gone south, so I was very aware of what could go wrong when working with someone who I thought of as a trusted colleague.
From working for others to working with family members in business, here’s what I’ve learned…
Get real about how you really feel about your family
The most fundamental rule is that you have to genuinely like spending time with your family. I know this seems obvious, but I’ve come across some couples and families that simply radiate tension and discord.
Launching and growing a business is hard enough. Why invite all that stress into the mix by starting an enterprise with someone who has a my-way-or-the-highway mindset, who secretly thrives on passive/aggressive behavior, or has a work ethic that doesn’t align with what’s necessary for a business to succeed?
Family members see and know each other, warts and all. They have history and baggage that, for better or worse, affect how they interact with each other. If you know you can only tolerate certain family members in small doses, going into business with them is without question asking for big trouble.
I need space!
Setting up your business environment so you have the time and space apart contributes to more productive work. Being with someone – family or not – every minute of the day can (ahem, will) almost certainly become annoying, make you crabby, and get on your last nerve.
To preserve your sanity and your relationship, build in some alone time, especially if you’re going home with that person at the end of the day. My husband and I have separate offices at work. We work together as professionals and respect that we each need our space some of the time, even while we’re working together to grow the business.
We also recognized early on that once we leave the office at the end of the day, we give the business a break. It’s a much needed, healthy balance that allows us to enjoy our kids, our life as a family, and activities that we enjoy.
We refuse to be constantly focused 18-hours-a-day on work and the inevitable stress that comes with that. As much as I love the work that I do, I love the family time even more (along with some “me time,” too, recharge).
Playing favorites?
Solid work relationships are built on trust, respect, and fairness. For those reasons, my husband and I knew when it was time to start hiring people to grow our business, we wanted to incorporate these qualities into our business practices.
We currently have seven employees who are not family members, and we make sure that everyone is treated fairly and has equal access to opportunities to expand their roles and grow their careers with us.
We value them as people who have chosen to work with us and to serve our clients to the very best of their ability. Favoritism is not on our agenda, and it shouldn’t be on yours either if you’re working with family members in business. Your non-family member employees will thank you.
Love your family, love your business
Having family to count on when life goes sideways is a great gift. However, if you’re thinking about taking the leap to work with family members in business, make sure you really think this one through first.
Honestly, sometimes mixing and family and business is a poor idea. There are plenty of examples of families in business who have achieved great financial success. Some of them have succeeded, however, at the expense of their family relationships.
My husband and I love the work we do and the fact that we’re doing it together. There have been bumps on the road of course (and we do have an exit strategy in case the business takes a downturn), but the bottom line is that we share the same personal and professional beliefs, values, and vision for the future. We’re proof that family and business do mix when the right fundamental building blocks are in place.
Whether you want to make your own mark in business or build an enterprise with family members, the goal is likely the same: to create something you love and that lets you live a life you love.
If you truly enjoy spending a lot of time with your family, if you can maintain clear boundaries between family and business time, if you’re willing to put plans in place to protect people and assets, and if you’re dedicated to treating everyone fairly and respectfully, then go ahead, mix family and business. Gather them around and make it real!
Do you have questions about how you can succeed in your business and accelerate your journey toward reaching your goals? I invite you to learn more about From Startup to Success coaching packages. Begin with a no-cost 30-minute consultation to discuss where you are with your business and where you want to go.
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